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National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse
National Association of Adult Survivors of Child Abuse
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NAASCA Highlights
EDITOR'S NOTE: Occasionally we bring you articles from local newspapers, web sites and other sources that constitute but a small percentage of the information available to those who are interested in the issues of child abuse and recovery from it.
We also present original articles we hope will inform the community ... |
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EDITOR'S NOTE: We are delighted to promote, endorse and support the work described here in the Be Smart .. Guard Your Heart material and projects as described here by Karen Addison from Denver, Colorado. A member of the NAASCA family, Karen appeared recently as a special guest on our "Stop Child Abuse Now" talk show (CLICK HERE) explaining her wonderful work. NAASCA is proud to partner with her in these efforts, and to present the following article on her behalf.
Bill Murray -- NAASCA founder
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I began teaching a healthy relationships course 10 years ago to a local high school. The curriculum I was trained in dealt with how to have healthy relationships, and had very little information in it about unhealthy relationships. I very quickly began to see that students had lots of questions and experiences surrounding abuse and unhealthy people and relationships, so I started incorporating abuse prevention and intervention components into my program.
Students tell me that the abuse piece is one of their favorites of the course, because in their words “no one ever talks about this with us”. Now, virtually everywhere I teach, I have students coming up to me after class wanting to talk about an abusive relationship they are in or have been in. This can be with a parent, a boyfriend/girlfriend, a best friend, etc… What is striking is the prevalence of abuse and unhealthy relationships that young people are experiencing today, the confusion and many, many questions they have about relationships, and the lack of skills and knowledge they have in learning how to make sense of these unhealthy dynamics and people. Students don't know where to go for support, or how to overcome these highly traumatic and confusing experiences.
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Be Smart Guard Your Heart (BSGH) is a revolutionary violence prevention/healthy relationship program. The key distinguishing factor that differentiates BSGH from other violence prevention programs is its comprehensive abuse prevention approach. Most programs focus on how to respond to a violent incident---how to react. BSGH focuses on preempting violence by educating students on abuse prevention---all forms of abuse, and healthy relationship formation. We don't just focus on one form of violence, like sex assault, we discuss the many forms of abuse, identify the components that make up an abusive relationship, and the traits and dynamics found in destructive people. Many violence prevention courses often overlook the more “hidden” forms of abuse—emotional and verbal abuse. We at BSGH believe that in order to combat sexual and physical violence, it is critical that we address emotional and verbal abuse, as these almost always precede any physical/sexual violence. |
When over 80% of teenagers are experiencing dating abuse, these hidden forms of abuse are epidemic in high schools and higher learning institutions. It is critical for young people to understand the manipulation, distorting, accusing, shaming and blaming that goes on with destructive people. Once young people can identify the relationship red flags, they are much less likely to get into abusive relationships.
BSGH helps young people learn ways to get out of unhealthy relationships, and how to avoid them in the future. The program helps students learn how to bounce back after life hits them. And it teaches students what healthy relationships look like, how they can achieve and maintain these, and how to operate in a mindset of integrity and commitment.
Many students today lack hope. They don't believe they can have lasting and fulfilling marriages or relationships, and they don't know how to have healthy ones. They see tremendously unhealthy relationships being modeled to them in popular media, and many come from divorced homes. Consequently, many young people have faulty perceptions of what are healthy and unhealthy behaviors. BSGH teaches students how to guard their hearts—how to make wise choices, assert themselves, and live in healthy relationship with themselves and others. We give students hope that yes, they can have safe, respectful and lasting relationships with others.
BSGH has been taught to thousands of middle and high school students and non-profits, and currently is in discussions with several universities to help them combat the rampant dating violence on college campuses. We would like to bring BSGH to universities and colleges across the country. Students are always grateful for the information and tools they learn, and regularly tell me that they will use these for the rest of their lives. The best way we can reduce abuse is to reach our youth and young adults. We can save them a lifetime of hurt and trauma, we can empower them to know how to have healthy relationships, and we can save generations from enduring abuse.
BSGH believes that educating the students is only a portion of abuse education. School counselors and staff need to be trained in the complex and unique dynamics surrounding abuse, and we do that as well. The goal is for schools to be able to address abuse allegations and issues from a knowledgeable, proactive perspective, so that victims will not be re-traumatized and can get the help they need, and perpetrators will have the opportunity to get the accountability and help they need.
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I have also written a book called Lizzy Lives In An Angry House. It is a self help book for children about emotional and verbal abuse (an “angry” house). While fiction, the book is based on true stories of kids living in angry homes and, with tools from BSGH, they have overcome this and are breaking the cycle of abuse in their own families. The last section of the book has tips and tools for kids and their trusted adults for learning how to not only survive an angry living environment, but how to thrive.
It is my absolute purpose and passion to help youth and young adults learn the red flags of abuse, how to avoid destructive relationships and people, and how to have healthy relationships with themselves and others. Humans are resilient. We can overcome great hardship—there is always hope. We are overcomers.
Karen Addison, MSPH
Youth and Young Adult Violence Prevention Specialist
303-909-9802
REAL Relationships
www.rlrelationships.com
www.facebook.com/rlrelationships |
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High School Student Testimonies:
“Even though I am not physically abused or even really emotionally abused, you made me realize that I deserve to be treated with respect. I now know the red flags to look for.”
“It (your class) opened everybody's minds because we didn't know half the stuff you told us before you came in. Now I know that even when you think you don't have a person to talk to, you really do.“
“I won't ever forget all the stuff you taught us. It was very informative and helpful and you taught us so many things that we can use for the rest of our lives.”
”After your presentation one day we all went outside to go to our next class and everyone was saying that everything you were saying was on point and made sense in their lives. You made a great impact with your presentation!”
“When Ms. Addison came to speak to our leadership class she really changed my heart. She changed the way I treat people, the way I treat myself, and the way I communicate with all the different people around me. It was really a blessing to have her because she is just such an amazing person that she draws others attention. If every teenager around the country could hear what she has to say about respecting ourselves and each other, our generation would grow up to be a light and to be very respected. When we were in class with her we could ask any questions we wanted. We did not feel intimated or afraid at all. She has such a loving personality that she just makes everyone feel like they can make a difference, and like they are worth something. She definitely knows what she is talking about, and her talents and knowledge should be given the opportunity to spread to the many people around her.“
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Joneen Mackenzie, RN-President/Founder, Center For Relationship Education:
“Karen has the uncanny ability to develop and implement curriculum to young people with exuberance and extravagance that captivates and engages them. Her connection to adolescents and emerging adults is fun to watch because she talks to their heart rather than just imparting information.”
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- Karen Addison -
"Real Relationships" |
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With a B.A. in Clinical Child Psychology and a Master of Science in Public Health, Karen Addison is a knowledgeable and passionate speaker, educator, and author. Her violence prevention and relationship enrichment program “Be Smart Guard Your Heart” teaches youth and young adults healthy relationship formation and abuse prevention skills and reaches thousands of students in classrooms and assemblies.
Karen has authored the book Lizzy Lives In An Angry House, a children's self- help book on living in an “angry” house. With wisdom and practical experience, she gives readers young and old alike an empathetic approach to recognizing emotionally destructive (scary) relationships and tools to help those living in “scary angry” homes overcome and break the cycle of abuse.
Karen's expertise extends well beyond the academic. She has experienced unhealthy relationship dynamics both as a child and an adult and knows personally how painful and confusing these can be. Her great sensitivity toward young persons' hearts as they struggle with conflicting emotions and thoughts at a very vulnerable time in their lives motivates her to reach out to children as well as adults who are trapped in “angry houses.” In line with this ongoing concern, she specializes in helping youth and young adults identify, prevent, and move forward from destructive relationships and learn to live in healthy, positive ways with themselves and others.
Karen has completed numerous advanced domestic violence trainings to hone her proficiency as an advocate for those in destructive relationships and eminently qualify her to counsel, speak, and write about this all-too-prevalent situation that affect so many lives.
Karen lives in the Denver area, and has three children and one grandchild. Visit her website at www.rlrelationships.com, or contact Karen at rlrelationships@gmail.com |
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